I really tried to like yoga, but some things are just not for everyone. I've tried hot yoga, beach yoga, meditate-in-a-garden-yoga, and yoga of the sweaty gym floor variety. The fact is that when I am seeking inner peace, I go running. Alone. To angry music.
This is my own fault, but if I go to a yoga class, I'm not looking to align my chakras, I just want to exercise. When I'm trying to get my sweat on, and someone at the front of the room is telling me to be calm while acting like a one-person cirque-du-soleil, it gives me the opposite of inner peace.
This is what the instructor is actually doing versus what I see when I look at them:

The instructor What I see
I literally spend the entire class yelling at bendy-alien-space-instructor in my head and wondering if people would judge me for leaving early.
However, I have discovered an alternative: Pilates.
I love my pilates instructor at Alter Ego Fitness. It's basically yoga boiled down to exercise. It isn't calming - it's stimulating! It doesn't make me connect with nature - it makes me connect with my abs! My instructor says comforting things like "We're almost done! Good job!" and encouraging things like "Push harder! Remember why you came!"
I don't even mind when she occasionally sneaks in a five-minute rest at the end of class. I go twice a week for strength training and try to go running for cardio two other days because being in good shape is what makes me feel good.
By the way, have you heard of Doga? I discovered this phenomenon when searching for obedience classes for my puppy...it's yoga....with your dog. This can't be normal...can it?

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